Frustrated after a string of break-ups, Dwita Astari Pujiartati quit the casual romance circuit and turned to a growing trend among Indonesian singles — marriage without dating. The year-old professor exchanged resumes with prospective suitors — helped by a Muslim cleric-cum-matchmaker — until she was contacted by a long-lost acquaintance who also wanted to give contact-less dating a whirl. There was no hand holding or kissing. The pair didn’t even meet in person for almost a year, chatting on the telephone instead. The practice known as taaruf, or introduction, is derided by critics as old fashioned and more fitting to conservative Gulf nations like Saudi Arabia than relatively liberal Indonesia, the world’s biggest Muslim majority country. But Pujiartati saw it as a way to ditch dating that went nowhere and be a devout Muslim at the same time by avoiding pre-marital touching and sex. A movement called Indonesia Tanpa Pacaran Indonesia without dating is blossoming in the Southeast Asian nation where people born from the mid-Nineties make up about one-quarter of its more than million people. The nuptials-focused group, which has a million followers on its Instagram page alone, targets this enormous Generation-Z audience largely through social media. Any pre-marital contact should be supervised and getting married younger is ideal, according to the group, which portrays pre-marital dating as a sinful product of Western decadence.
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The French dating app Gleeden targets Indian women looking for extramarital relationships. Getting happily married and staying happily married are not the same thing any more — even in India. You might still love your partner, but their moves in bed may have become as predictable as guest judges on an Indian reality show. In such a scenario, it is tempting to look outside your marriage for extra romance.
So, how do you go about looking for intimacy with a stranger while remaining married? Sure, you could download Tinder and have your entire circle of family, friends, colleagues and neighbours know you are seeking lovers.
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